I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
