p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
