It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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