U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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