I should be sponsored by Trojan
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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