You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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