Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
