i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
