I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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