is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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