I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
