Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
