He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
