Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
