We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Too much gin, very little bucket
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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