There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
