First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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