I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
