Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I have aggressive nipples.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
