You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
