so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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