i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
