I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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