super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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