we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
