is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
