i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
