Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bring me that man meat
Randomize
