you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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