Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
