He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
