In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
