Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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