just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
