Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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