She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize