Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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