the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
