Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
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