Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
