He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
