who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
