if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
