3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
