is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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