I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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