dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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