did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
3pm strippers are depressing
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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