had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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