he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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