How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
