i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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